High Hitler

Will America Sacrifice Democracy for Legal Weed?

Author’s Note: This piece was originally supposed to be published in High Times but was killed by editors due to fears of Presidential litigation. I was given an opportunity to self-censor, but I felt doing so went against everything I believe in. If I wasn’t convinced before, I am now. Free speech is indeed dead. Oh, and when asked how they’d weigh the promise of full-scale federal marijuana legalization under a Trump presidency against the risk of losing broader personal and democratic freedoms, the nation’s leading drug reform groups — the Marijuana Policy Project, the Drug Policy Alliance, and NORML — had nothing to say. Neither did leading civil rights groups, the ACLU and FIRE. Every one of them declined to comment.

It’s not a matter of if, it’s when. Politicos in the nation’s capital have been feeding this tired spiel to cannabis advocates for the past decade with respect to when they feel federal marijuana legalization will unfold. With record-level support, they have wagered, with polls consistently showing that over half the American population wants this reform, they’ve vowed with propitious enthusiasm, Congress would have no choice but to bow to the will of the voters and get serious about doing the damn thing. “I think it’s game over in less than five years,” said former Representative Earl Blumenauer in 2014. Well, here we are more than ten years later, and pffffffft, nothing. Bupkis. Jack squat. The many measly measures aimed at freeing the leaf in some capacity are in the same pathetic shape they’ve been for years – just one feeble attempt after another and never enough Congressional support to bring even the most modest bill to fruition. Uncle Sam’s ban on bud is nothing if not resolute. It’s nearly 2026, and cannabis reform, it certainly seems, has been shackled in the basement of the Capitol Building just waiting for someone with the right kind of power to swoop in and give it the necessary boost to bring it back to life.

Some would swear on a stack of Bibles that President Trump is the resurrection man. After all, many of his loyal, bootlicking followers are wholeheartedly convinced that he was sent to the White House by the Lord Jeebus himself – insert seizure-inducing eye roll here -- to save America from the perilous pits of wokeism, Marxism, and that no-good talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. Part of that promise, they hypothesize – even without knowing the meaning of the word -- could be, potentially, just maybe, fingers crossed, let us pray, giving the American citizens the freedom to grow and smoke weed like their omnipotent creator intended. After all, during his campaign, Trump signified that it could happen, saying things like he believes “it is time to end needless arrests and incarcerations of adults for small amounts of marijuana for personal use,” and that he thinks continued research is needed to “unlock the medical uses of marijuana to a Schedule III drug.” So, you know, to them, this translates to -- if all y’all would just do your research and stop listening to CNN -- Trump will finally legalize weed because America First, that’s why.

It’s a job that those gosh-dern Democraps were certainly never willing to do -- not that terrorist-plant Osama Bin Obama, nor that babbling, brain-dead aberration Joe Biden, and it certainly wasn’t going to make any significant strides on Kamhella’s watch. “Her support [for cannabis reform] was just another instance of Democrats lying to get your vote,” Edward, from Arkansas, tells me. The Libtards could have legalized it at any time, MAGA’s Mt. Dew-sucking loyalists boldly postulate, they just didn’t because, like, they are too busy getting paid off by Big Pharma and the alcohol industry, man. “They didn’t want it legal because they’re making too much money on it,” declares a man named Alex. Trump doesn’t need the money – he’s the first billionaire president, after all – so it is inarguably the hope of at least a segment of his red-eyed electors that somewhere in his busy schedule of accepting planes from Qatar, imposing tariffs, building a ballroom in the former location of the East Wing of the White House, cutting emergency SNAP benefits for millions of Americans and using $20 billion in American tax dollars to stabilize the Argentinian economy, he can spare a few moments to Make Weed Legal Again.

Whether President Trump wants to reclaim reefer remains to be seen. Sure, his orangeness has given some indications, albeit some pretty shoddy ones, if you ask me, that he could champion cannabis reform. In addition to saying he’d continue “looking at” the Biden Administration’s plan to downgrade the plant’s Schedule I classification to a Schedule III – there’s been no progress in that, by the way – Trump also implied something recently that got advocates oddly pumped up. In a video posted by Trump on Truth Social, he appears to show faith in CBD-based medicine. The message wasn’t a momentous gesture or anything – it just mentioned that the cannabinoid could “revolutionize” healthcare for American seniors. Trump himself didn’t offer any encouraging comments about the cannabinoid, and the post, to me, appeared to be just another narcissistic way to demand Americans bow to his spectacular awesomeness for signing the 2018 Farm Bill. Yet, the cannabis industry, at least in part, speculate that Trump’s post regarding CBD, while a conservative beckon, in my opinion, and about as meaningless as it gets in the grand scheme of signaling any action toward further reform, was a way of testing the political waters, to determine whether repairing broken cannabis laws would sit well with the largely distended guts of his Walmart shopping Klansmen. It seems a stretch to insist that a video on CBD has a deeper meaning. Nevertheless, all the noise about President Trump’s affinity for CBD, the hopeful contend, was a sign suggesting that he could be the one who finally gets serious about legalizing marijuana, potentially as soon as 2026. “If he’s posting this now, it’s likely a preview of a decision already made or soon to come,” said FundCanna CEO Adam Stettner.

Cannabis advocates all over the country admit vast skepticism over any notion that President Trump, the same one who told Americans during the pandemic to drink bleach, will be the one to come through with any level of common-sense federal cannabis reform. “It’s all talk,” a woman named Madison tells me. “Let’s see if he can walk the walk.” Meanwhile, others say they would be gravely suspicious of Trump, even more so than they are already, if he suddenly decided that legal weed was imperative in his plan to make America great again. “I’d see it as a distraction,” asserts Briana of Lee Vining, California. As to a distraction for what, Matt from Chicago, Illinois, has some idea. Legalizing weed “might get people to forget about the Epstein files.”

Judging from the people we talked to, most cannabis advocates in America are of the opinion that if there’s one thing you can believe about Trump, it’s that you can’t believe him. “They are actively blowing up boats in the Caribbean and claiming it’s to stop the drug trade to America,” says Redditor HempinAin’tEasy. “Project 2025 is very anti-drug. He’s doing what politicians have done in the past and using legalization as lip service to keep people hanging on, but in reality, I highly doubt there are real plans to reschedule or legalize cannabis any time soon.”

There is no doubt the American people should be skeptical. Trump’s entire second term, so far, has been one underhanded move after another aimed at centralizing the executive branch, jettisoning any concept of a system of checks and balances, and doing it all while waving the proverbial middle finger of his bruised, tiny hand in the air for all the ways the American presidency was done before him. After all, Trump is the best at running the country, just ask him, and he’s not about to be stopped by a measly 250-year-old document signed by a bunch of dead men in powdered wigs – that is evident. The potential Kiddie-Diddler in Chief has castrated watchdogs and burned longstanding government agencies to the ground, all of which are intended to keep suspected pedophilic demagogues, like him, as well as other deranged leaders -- from assuming total power. He has made enemies of his political opponents, even the press. That’s right, Mr. “If we don’t have free speech, we don’t have a free country,” doesn’t like it when journalists are critical of his clown shoe administration. What he really hates is when they tell the truth, you know, how he’s got to be in the Epstein files, or else he would release them. So, Trump has restricted media access and even jumped up and down enough to get late-night talk show hosts fired, even if only temporarily.

Taking it further, Trump has applied federal force to intervene directly in state affairs. On immigration and civil rights, his administration has waged war on anyone who isn’t white, Christian, filthy rich, or has his wrinkly balls draped across their subservient chins. Trump’s administration has expanded enforcement and detention powers to rid the nation of its “bad genes,” which he said, during his campaign, the country has a lot of right now. ICE has become an Americanized SS. Trump, too, has imposed, in the name of “freedom,” an executive order aimed at using prosecutorial power against any of his naysayers, even regular, taxpaying citizens, who side with “Antifa,” as in short for “anti-fascist,” you know, people who don’t exactly have a fondness for NAZIs. Trump has called for Americans to be put in jail and has even proposed that they suffer the death penalty, just for opposing his fascist regime. All of this, I guess, is to say that President Trump is unequivocally a dictatorial turd who’s stinking up the nation with his brand of authoritarianism. Don’t get it twisted, as the kids would say. Donald Trump is an ethnocentric, an imperialistic goon, or a modern-day Hitler, for those of his loyal sycophants struggling to keep up.

To make matters worse, Trump doesn’t want to -- and probably doesn’t plan to -- leave the White House, like maybe over his dead body. Maybe. During his campaign, he told his supporters to get out and vote, and if they did, “it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won’t have to vote anymore.” Most recently, he told reporters that he would appreciate the honor of royally screwing the country for another term. Those paying close attention already understand that ruling in perpetuity was always his intention. I mean, there are photos of him in the Oval Office with hats branded with “Trump 2028,” for chrissakes. Even Steve Bannon, a former White House strategist and fellow felon – remember Trump has 34 felonies -- says there’s a plan in place to ensure Trump’s ineffectual imbecility continues to infect the American populace. “Trump is going to be president in 28, and people just ought to get accommodated with that,” he said in an interview with The Economist.

President Trump has given Americans every reason to believe that he will seek a third term by any means necessary – something that violates the U.S. Constitution. Yet, considering that desecrating the purposes of the Constitution is in every underhanded move Trump has made up to this point, we probably shouldn’t put it past him. And that’s bad, like really bad. All told, Trump’s actions reflect a systematic erosion of democratic norms and the rule of law, raising concerns that the America we once knew and loved, even when it wasn’t perfect, is slipping into tyranny.

It’s no surprise that cannabis advocates are burned up about what’s happening in Trump’s America. To them, nothing is worth another day of Trump in office, much less entering into a time where he haunts the White House indefinitely. Not even if he were to legalize marijuana at the federal level – something he can’t do without Congress, a branch of the government he insists he doesn’t need, so he might try to do it without them anyway -- most of his toking opposition contend, would never support his maniacal mission or stop fighting against his fascist ideals. They’re not about to hail a High Hitler. “As much as I want [legalization], I can’t live in the U.S. under his crazy and dismantling control,” Madison chimes in again. Another advocate named Sherry, from Owensboro, Kentucky, is right there with her. “I’d rather it stay [illegal] than to ever be ruled by a dictator,” she vehemently demands. As far as some are concerned, Trump could legalize marijuana and more, and they still wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire. “Trump could make weed totally legal, mushrooms legal, cap concert tickets to $25, make a 4-day work week, remove normal daylight time, and I would still be fully against him,” declares Redditor IMakeArtAndStuff. “Doing a few good things doesn’t remove all the literal batshit crazy things you do.”

There is no complete consensus on cannabis reform in the Land of the Free. Some presumably agree with Trump that “he can be whatever he wants [even a dictator]” if he would just hurry up and legalize weed already. Especially if he can get those gosh-dern foreigners out of here while he’s at it. Or maybe they’re not overly political, or they don’t understand the gravity of having an orange overlord running wild in the White House in adult diapers with access to the nuclear codes, or perhaps they just blindly follow Trumpty-Dumpty on the basis that they truly believe he is actually making America better. When it comes to legalizing marijuana at the federal level, some of these people couldn’t care less who is holding the pen. It could be Trump, Putin, or even Trump’s old buddy, Jeffrey Epstein – considering that he can come back from the dead -- they just want it done. “I don’t care who legalizes it, as long as it is legal,” asserts one man who wishes to remain anonymous. “It would create more American jobs and generate tons of tax revenue.”

Yeah, but at what cost?

Listen, I get it. Anyone who has been in the trenches of the battle for cannabis reform for as long as some understands that it is time. Cannabis prohibition has gone on long enough – we’re going on 90 goddamn years now -- even as half the states have changed the law allowing it to be used for recreational and medicinal purposes. Prohibition can no longer be logically supported, if there was ever an argument to the contrary. And yet, as we’ve established, it mostly remains. After all the time spent in the proscriptive pit, it’s easy to see how some cannabis advocates might be quick to get into bed with just about anyone willing to give their precious plant the recognition it deserves, even the Orange Führer. Fortunately, cannabis advocates have suffered fools like Trump too long to just bend over if he were to start waving gold-plated nugs in front of them. They clearly see that if the issue of federal marijuana legalization becomes one of Trump’s promises, the trade-off would mean the loss of inarguably more important freedoms that they would be sure to miss once they are gone. Most agree that any attempts by Trump to so much as reschedule cannabis to Schedule III would only be to the benefit of his bank accounts and his billionaire buddies, not the American people. So, while Trump’s camp might be exploring ways to use cannabis reform to the benefit of the authoritarian administration in the coming years, the American people seem to fully comprehend, without any question whatsoever, that they’re just blowing smoke.